we will murder your tablescapes. a semi-homicide. don’t offend us with any more tomfoolery, any more cooking shenanigans that disgrace the art of eating and offend our eyebuds before they reach the tastebuds. next time you melt dessert to call it a recipe, next time you set your sit and mix up your mashed potato meal powder in our sensibilities… well, check yourself. we’re watching. we’re waiting. we’re scheming and when we strike just be prepared to ward us off with more than your semi-half baked, double dip layer caked, cookie cutter, always faked three in one landscaped entrees. you’re toast. we’re peanut butter and jellytime. and we’ve got a baseball bat.